Robbing a pizzeria should be fairly easy. Especially if you have worked there, and you were a manager. Yet, Sean Coulson found it to be a difficult feat. Many factors can be blamed but it’s probably his sense of humor.
It took three sources to prove that this crime was real. THREE! It is so absurd and unbelievable that even sitcoms would not try to pawn the story off on their audience. Coulson decided to rob his old employer and the results are straight out of a cartoon.
Coulson put a mask on over his face. After he was “dressed up” he went to Northeast Pizza. Once he was there, the former manager used a toy gun to frighten employees. Coulson demanded one employee open the register for him.
Some of the other employees took the chance to jump on him. They sat on him until the police arrived. Sat on him. None of them thought to remove the mask for some reason. Maybe they thought only the police could do it?
Each employee was shook when the cops revealed that it was their old boss. Perhaps that’s why they didn’t do the unmasking themselves. Trevor Kosla told reporters “I was just frozen in my tracks. I didn’t have the time to think about a plan or anything like that, so I just reacted,” which is fair. Most people would not know how to react in that situation.
And The Memes Kept Rolling In
Coulson was charged with robbery. He built his whole defense around “it was all a joke.” Maybe someone needs to remind him that jokes are supposed to be funny. And you know not put people’s lives in danger. They’re in Massachutes, not Florida.
I’m sure Coulson is out there somewhere grumbling that he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for the meddling pizza shop employees.
While the rest of us debate whether pineapples belong on pizza. At least we can all agree that Coulson’s “joke” was dumb. Even Scooby-Doo wouldn’t approve.