Dad! Are You Ok!


Waiting in the grocery line, there is a sale on apple pies – 2/$.99. I grabbed six and put them into my cart, which was full of delicious groceries. The bill came to $132.28. A family of 4 walks pass me on the way out of the store, nicely smiling, and the father says, “hello”. The wife smelled incredibly pleasant, wearing a beautiful dark red dress that came just below the knee. While walking to the car I pull out my mobile phone and called my son so that he can get ready to help me take the groceries into the house when I get there, he says, “sure”!

A puddle of water from yesterday’ rain is near as I’m walking and getting close to my car. My phone is still in my hand, and as I attempt to put it in my pocket it slips from my hand and into the puddle. I say a curse word, and two children hear me curse and one of the children says, “aw mommy he said a bad word”! While picking up my phone, I experience a back pain and have difficulty picking it up. I just know that I‘m going to have to get a new phone, this happened to me before. What tickles me the most is the fact that I just got this phone two weeks ago. I throw my wet phone into the basket with the bags, but clear of any bag openings. A man says, “uh oh, that sucks!” – referring to the phone dropping into the water. He must have seen it from afar – due to the delay of his response – as the grocery store’s parking was filled with vehicles.

While putting the groceries away, one of the bags that contained my spaghetti sauce split at the bottom and out came the spaghetti sauce bottle to the paved parking lot concrete. Splat goes the spaghetti! All over the ground, my white sweat pants and on a stranger’s slacks who was just innocently walking by. The stranger curses loudly and looks at me in anger. I apologized, but he left extremely angry. He was dressed like he was on his way to somewhere nice, like a wedding. One of the grocery reps comes out and tells me to not worry about the mess because he will take care of it. I’m without one spaghetti sauce, but Italian wasn’t on the menu until about another week, so I’ll just come back another day to pick up another bottle. I have to wait until the rep cleans up the glass, or I’ll probably have a flat tire from all of the glass scattered about. The rep went inside of the store to get a broom and a dust pan, I assume. I’m really interested in getting home very soon. It took nearly 10 minutes to exit the parking spot after the sauce hit the ground.

Driving home, traffic interferes. What usually takes 4 minutes, will take me 17 minutes. Sitting, sitting and sitting. Frustrated because I could have beat the traffic if I hadn’t dropped the spaghetti sauce. I pull up into my driveway and beep the horn for my son to come out. He runs out onto the lawn that I just aerated with my Green Giant Spiked Shoes, which was a lot of fun by the way, but I told this boy to stay off of the lawn dozens of times, but he seems to always forget. I take a look at the storm door, I notice that the pneumatic door closer doesn’t close the door properly and I just replaced that thing last month, and it was working fine. Asking my son what happened, he tells me that he and his friend was playing catch and the ball hit it and it broke. How this happened I did not ask at this time, too much on my mind, especially my job, which just layed off two people and is due for laying off a few more people due to downsizing and I did give the boss some problems a few times in the past, which would definitely gives him reason to get rid of me. Me and my son brings all of the groceries into the house.

I enter the house lastly, with the last few bag, and I kick the kick plate to shut the door behind me. After placing the last few bags on the kitchen counter, I look up at the smoke detector in the hallway and the face of it was hanging down. Why? My son says that he was cooking earlier and a paper towel caught fire and somehow reached the dishrag. Ha! You’re joking right?” He wasn’t. He detached the smoke detector to keep it from going off. He heard it go off while taking a crap. It’s extremely hot inside the house. My son failed to turn the AC on all day and it’s about 78 degrees outside. At 17 years old you would think that he would know better, especially since you’ve drilled this in his head 101 times.

Rough day, so I sit in my rocking chair to watch some televisions and to take a load off. I sit down for 2 minutes and just as I start to laugh at the jokes of a famous sitcom, the phone rings. It’s a telemarketing call. I should’ve known, I didn’t recognize the number. I do not want to buy health insurance, I already have it. Oh shoot! The power goes out! What the heck! Everything goes out! I check the breaker, ok, back on! I had to walk all the way to the basement. I’m really not in the mood for this. Now, I have to wait for my cable box to reload. Loading, loading, loading, loading and then boom! My bull dog jumps up on my leg, tail wagging and tongue hanging out. Yep! It’s time to take this fella for a walk. Off for a walk we go! I’ll just have to wait for a little while before watching TV.

Walking, walking, walking! Talking to neighbors, many that I would have rather not seen, prolonging the walk and adding fuel to the fire of how this day is going. My neighbor Jeff, who I owe a favor to, needs me to take his mother-in-law to an early morning Saturday doctor’s appointment, tomorrow! Ok! I had plans on sleeping in. Walking, walking, walking and ewwww! I stepped in another dog’s crap! My dog pulls me forward in excitement, sniffing and peeing, then I realize that I should invest in a pair of pants to put on this guy. His jewels are just hanging and swinging without any regrets. Oh well, the confidence of a dog is incredible. My phone was damaged in that water and I’m walking without one. I feel absolutely naked without my smartphone. I realized that I only have 25 minutes before getting to my mobile phone provider’s store. I could’ve went earlier but somehow my phone getting damaged slipped my mind, believe it or not. I’m sure I will not make it to the store in time. I will have to go in the morning. What makes this matter even worse is the fact that I’m waiting on a call from a co-worker tonight about a movie date and I do not have my co-worker’s number. I just hope that they leave a message or I’ll have to hear about being irresponsible at work on Monday. Finally at home and the dog has pooped and peed. The Dusk-to-Dawn Light Control that I installed last week is not working; It’s dark out in front of my yard as I walk towards my home. Uh oh, I get my feet tangled by the dog chain and I nearly fell.

While rinsing the dog crap from my shoe with the water hose, the dog runs after a cat, and unfortunately, the chain somehow wrapped around my foot and his strength kinda took me along with him causing me to incidentally point the water hose towards my face; I now have a wet face and a wet shirt. “Tank!” I call my dog’s name to leave that darn stray cat alone! I enter into the house and greeted by my son, he laughs! “Dad are you ok?”

My son grabs the dog and takes him into the basement. I go into the kitchen and two TV dinners are cooked and ready to be eaten. I go towards the bathroom to clean up and he tells me that he forgot to give me something.”What is it”? It was his report card: 3.25! His last report card was a 1.25.”Good Job, son!”