When Mother’s Day is Stolen Valor

Child Abuse
Child Abuse. Credit: Pix4Free.org


Trigger warning ⚠️

Some mothers are simply toxic. Their behavior inflicts too much emotional pain. Mother’s Day can be the most traumatic day you experience every year. Who wants the stigma of people knowing your mother never loved you? You find yourself letting her calls go to voice mail when you see her caller ID on your phone, because you know the call will be abusive.

You only have one biological mother. It’s a crap shoot. Sometimes a mother loves you, but sometimes a mother is nothing more than a biological incubator.  Motherhood has achieved a hallowed place in our communal consciousness, but we know in some species, mothers kill and eat their offspring. Infanticide is the intentional murder of infants or offspring and has been a prevalent practice throughout human history. It served primarily to eliminate undesired children. Some mothers come short of killing their children, mostly because it’s illegal or they fear being found out – and spend all their lives loathing or resenting their children. Some mothers are narcissists; others are sociopaths; still others have borderline personality disorder.  Motherhood provides the perfect smokescreen for abuse.

Being a mother does not sanctify abuse. Some mothers hijack Mother’s Day to selfishly manipulate others into feeding their narcissistic ego. It becomes stolen valor, theft of accolades they never earned.

I was an unwanted child. I am the result of my mother’s many adulterous affairs.  Unknowingly, I reminded her, daily, of her abominable behavior, and she took it out on me. I couldn’t fight back – the man she slept with passed on the gene for Pompe muscular dystrophy, and I inherited this disease.  She was evil her entire life, and her husband specifically condoned her abuse toward me throughout my childhood as a distraction so his biological children escaped most of her attacks.

In October 1980, Governor Otis Bowen and The Indiana Department of Public Welfare named Betty  Beasley of Kokomo, Indiana “Mother of The Year” in a lavish ceremony at the Marriot Hotel in Indianapolis.  She was no “Mother of The Year.” I know – she was my very own “Mommy Dearest.”

Governor of Indiana Award to Abusive Mother
Governor of Indiana Award to Abusive Mother

When Betty Beasley, nee Sanders was a teenager, she was sentenced by the court to confinement in a private prison run by “Homes of The Good Shepard”. The Magdalene organization built Marydale School for Incorrigible Girls, located at S Capitol Ave & W Maryland St in Indianapolis, where she was an inmate. The private prison where she spent those years is less than a 5 minute walk from the Marriott where she was later wrongly honored by the Governor of Indiana as “Mother of the Year.”

Betty was incarcerated for her crimes of hurting children at MaryDale School for Incorrigible Girls as a young teenager.

Child Abuse
Child Abuse. Credit: Pix4Free.org

She had a restraining order against her upon release from confinement, and was not permitted to go anywhere near her own biological family because there were still minors in the house.  When she wed at age 19, her biological parents refused to attend her wedding.  She always complained about not being welcome at her parents’ house, but there were good reasons.

Trigger warning ⚠️

Like Joan Crawford, Betty Beasley hid her abusive behavior from the public. She beat me almost every day.  My sister publicly attested to Betty Beasley’s cruelty.

Betty Beasley Cruelty
Betty Beasley Cruelty

Betty not only abused her biological children, but also the 25 foster children she housed for monetary gain from the foster parent program.

My mother, Betty Beasley would tie the children up for days at a time and lock them in a bedroom. She put duct tape over their mouths so they could not cry out for help.  She would beat them like she beat me when I was a toddler and in elementary school. My mother used to pour ground pepper in my mouth, seal my mouth shut with duct tape, then tie my hands behind me in a chair so I couldn’t pull the tape off or spit out the ground pepper.  She enjoyed cruelty.   I spent as much time as possible away from her until I could graduate college and leave the state.  It wasn’t just children she abused – she used to grind up glass and add it to hamburger and place it outside as bait for neighborhood pets to eat so they would die an excruciatingly painful death.

Betty Beasley nee Sanders mentally tortured her younger sister Barbara Ellen Sanders by stealing away any boyfriend Barbara had. Barbara wound up committing suicide at age 19 after 11 weeks of near self-starvation.

Betty’s parents lived like animals, and there are historic articles in The Kokomo Tribune describing how her parents Manuel and Sylvia Sanders were homeless multiple times.  The police would find her parents and the gang of children living underneath a tree by railroad tracks, living in sub-human conditions like stray dogs. Reports in The Kokomo Tribune reveal Manuel Sanders’ first wife divorced him for physical cruelty. Betty had her father’s temper and proclivity for abuse.

The award “Mother of The Year” cannot stand. It must be stripped from Betty Beasley, posthumously.  I I asked Governor Eric J. Holcomb to rescind the award.  I emailed him, I faxed his office, and I tweeted to him.  For too many years, people have gotten away with atrocities because they figured nobody would find out. I know what she was really like – I suffered her abuse for too many years.

Mother’s Day is traumatic for victims of child abuse. Some mothers should never be honored on this day; no one should condone stolen valor.

You can help by contacting Eric J Holcomb and telling him to “Rescind Mother of The Year Award posthumously from Betty Beasley.”  He refuses to listen to me; he needs more people to awaken his integrity.       Twitter @GovHolcomb  /   By Phone: 317-232-4567  /  Fax 317/232-3443     /  https://www.facebook.com/GovHolcomb/

Office of the Governor
Indianapolis, Indiana 46204-2797

[email protected]


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Dr. Anton Anderssen
Dr. Anton Anderssen has been published by USA Today, CBSnewsDetroit, Detroit Free Press, Detroit News, Mensa Bulletin, Broadway World, eTurboNews, Hawaii Tourism Association, HawaiiNews.Online, Michigan Journal, Examiner News and other news outlets. He won the 2009 first prize in journalism from the Detroit Working writers organization, founded 1900 as The Detroit Press Club. He graduated With Highest Distinction from Indiana University (Comparative Literature), earned a Juris Doctor degree (Wayne State University), attended post-doctorate graduate classes in anthropology (University of Michigan), and earned a post-doctorate graduate degree in cultural anthropology (Wayne State University). He is a former concert pianist with Indiana University School of Music and the Detroit Institute of Arts. He is a member of Mensa and several other high IQ organizations including Triple Nine Society, ISPE and The Prometheus Society. He specializes in high culture, and is of Scandinavian, British and Castilian heritage. He is The Supreme Historian for Knights of Equity, founded in 1895. He holds the legal title Lord of Hartforth in North Yorkshire, England, and is the direct blood descendant of the first Lord of Hartforth, documented in the Domesday Survey of 1086. He is the direct blood descendant of Plantagenet Kings of England and the Lords Kennedy of Scotland. He lives in Waikiki, Hawaii, Michigan, The Italian Riviera, London England, The Italian Alps, and Milan Italy. He is a docent at The Iolani Palace in Honolulu Hawaii, the only official royal residence in the United States.