Tesla Claps Back at Toilet-Paper Trolls: We Have Squares to Spare

Tesla Elon Musk toilet paper
Electric car company Tesla, which instituted a strict cost-cutting program amid its financial problems, assured the world that it doesn't need your toilet-paper charity, thank you very much. (screenshots)

The official Twitter account of Tesla, Elon Musk‘s electric-car company, assured its followers that there is enough toilet paper at its Fremont, California headquarters, despite rumors to the contrary.

“Actually we still have plenty of toilet paper, but thank you for checking,” Tesla tweeted. “We completely understand the feeling when you get stuck without a square though.”

Elon Musk also rubbished the rumors. “This is complete nonsense,” he tweeted.

We may even have a square to spare’

Tesla added that it even has extra toilet paper for anyone who needs it.

“We may even have a square to spare. Let us know if you would like to borrow one.” 🚽

Tesla’s finances are in a ‘code-red’ situation

The company was reacting to a report in Electrek claiming that several of its facilities are cutting way back on office supplies – even toilet paper — as part of an extreme cost-cutting measure.

One source even claimed that some employees have resorted to bringing their own stash of toilet paper from home in order to cut down on costs.

As HVY reported, Tesla is in an emergency “code red” situation because it only has $2.2 billion cash on hand, which is just enough to last another 10 months.

GoFundMe account to raise money for toilet paper

To address this, Elon Musk instituted an immediate cost-cutting plan to slash expenses across the board. Naturally, this has caused a flurry of comical rumors, including the latest one claiming there’s a toilet-paper shortage at Tesla.

Things got so extreme that someone even launched a GoFundMe page to raise money to buy toilet paper for Tesla. The petition, which has already collected $310, reads:

“In order to cut costs, Elon has been cutting back on everything at Tesla… Even the toilet paper! Let’s band together and help these dedicated employees out of a sh*tty situation by getting them the soft, ultra plush, two-ply they deserve.”

“We all know it has been tough at Fremont lately (the raw sewage going through workspaces last year..) but the workers don’t deserve to be on the short end of the stick – show them some love!”

tesla toilet paper gofundme petition

Elon’s Boring Company wins $48 million Las Vegas contract

While TSLA stock is getting battered this week amid a barrage of bad news, Elon Musk scored a major victory for his other fledgling venture, the Boring Company.

Earlier this week, the Boring Company won a $48.6 million contract to build a high-speed underground transit system for the Las Vegas Convention Center. It is Boring’s first commercial contract.

The Loop is expected to slash the transit time for moving around the Las Vegas Convention Center from 15 minutes to 60 seconds.

The project deadline is January 2021, which is when the annual Consumer Electronics Show takes place in Las Vegas. However, Musk says he hopes to finish the project by the end of 2019.

Related: David Einhorn, Who’s Shorting Tesla, Rips Elon for Spouting ‘Horsesh*t’