THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT NEVER MADE SENSE ABOUT FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH.

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There are many things in Hollywood that aren’t realistic. From a near death explosion, where the protagonist comes out unscathed, to a happily ever after ending, there have been many film moments that could only exist in the world of Hollywood. The same can also be said for Teen comedies. The Teen comedy genre isn’t one you would typically associate with story-line flaws, but they’re just as guilty of factual errors as big budget disaster films like Armageddon. Today I will examine a Teen film which has gone down in film history as a cult classic and one which spawned a number of future Hollywood A listers. That film is Fast Times at Ridgemont High. What can I say; from its charming and relatable characters to its killer soundtrack that encapsulated Southern California in the early 1980’s, Fast Times at Ridgemont High is a movie that just keeps gaining momentum through the decades. So much so that it was included in the National Film Registry/Archives in 2005 for its significant cultural impact. But even so, there are still various moments throughout the film that just didn’t add up.

1. Linda (Phoebe Cates) gave horrible relationship/sexual advice to Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) throughout the film.

Linda Barrett was always on hand to give relationship/sex education advice to Stacy throughout the film. Because of her sexual maturity, and the fact she was dating a much older guy, it seemed only natural she be the perfect person to give relationship advice, Right? .... Wrong. From her encouragement to keep having sex, even after Stacy’s admission of the pain it brought, to her final line in the movie encouraging Stacy to keep her eye open for more men (even after the trauma of Stacy’s abortion) it’s safe to say Linda’s advice was about as constructive as a demolition site.

Universal Studios / Via pykorry.com

Linda Barrett was always on hand to give relationship/sex education advice to Stacy throughout the film. Because of her sexual maturity, and the fact she was dating a much older guy, it seemed only natural she be the perfect person to give relationship advice, Right? …. Wrong. From her encouragement to keep having sex, even after Stacy’s admission of the pain it brought, to her final line in the movie encouraging Stacy to keep her eye open for more men (even after the trauma of Stacy’s abortion) it’s safe to say Linda’s advice was about as constructive as a demolition site.

2. Ron (Stereo guy) made his sexual advances on Stacy knowing full well she was NOT over 18. Gross.

Now this one is in the eye of the beholder, but as a fellow male, if a guy has to ask if a girl really is over 18, that's usually a sign that something's up. Any guy will tell you that, if there's any element of doubt regarding a girl's age, it's best to not go there. Me thinks both were experiencing abnormally high hormone levels that night and were willing to turn a blind eye.

Universal Studios / Via shaggytexas.com

Now this one is in the eye of the beholder, but as a fellow male, if a guy has to ask if a girl really is over 18, that’s usually a sign that something’s up. Any guy will tell you that, if there’s any element of doubt regarding a girl’s age, it’s best to not go there. Me thinks both were experiencing abnormally high hormone levels that night and were willing to turn a blind eye.

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3. How in the hell did Ratner find out Damone had slept with Stacy?

Unless word travelled at light speed during the early 80’s, or Ridgemont High was incredibly gossipy, it seems too hard to believe that Ratner would find out about Damone and Stacy's encounter. And these were the days before social media and Snapchat.

Universal Studios / Via static1.squarespace.com

Unless word travelled at light speed during the early 80’s, or Ridgemont High was incredibly gossipy, it seems too hard to believe that Ratner would find out about Damone and Stacy’s encounter. And these were the days before social media and Snapchat.

4. The Abortion scene.

Couldn't Damone have just been honest with Stacy and told her to wait until Thursday instead of doing a no show on the day? In the scene where Damone is desperately trying to salvage enough cash to pay for Stacy's abortion, we clearly see a guy struggling to meet the Tuesday deadline. Even though he was able to get the money by Thursday, it seemed a bit drastic to just pull a no show on the day of the appointment. Surely a phone call to Stacy telling the truth would have straightened the whole thing out.

Universal Studios / Via pykorry.com

Couldn’t Damone have just been honest with Stacy and told her to wait until Thursday instead of doing a no show on the day? In the scene where Damone is desperately trying to salvage enough cash to pay for Stacy’s abortion, we clearly see a guy struggling to meet the Tuesday deadline. Even though he was able to get the money by Thursday, it seemed a bit drastic to just pull a no show on the day of the appointment. Surely a phone call to Stacy telling the truth would have straightened the whole thing out.

5. How in the heck did Linda find out where Damone lived?

Ah yes, the famous scene where Damone comes out to his car only to find the word PRICK engraved on his car. But what's more startling is just how Linda managed to find out where Damone lives. Did the two have a thing in the past? And I can't help but imagine Linda having to do the dirty work at night when no one can see her.

Universal Studios / Via pbs.twimg.com

Ah yes, the famous scene where Damone comes out to his car only to find a vulgar word engraved on his car. But what’s more startling is just how Linda managed to find out where Damone lives. Did the two have a thing in the past? And I can’t help but imagine Linda having to do the dirty work at night when no one can see her.

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6. How did the Pizza guy know exactly which room to go to?

Shouldn't alarm bells have been ringing when the delivery address was a High School. Okay this scene, as funny and memorable as it is, is one which we can comfortably call BS on. As a Pizza store, with serious orders to take and deliveries to make, a delivery to a High School classroom would (99.9% of the time) end with a dial tone. Even more far-fetched was how the Pizza delivery guy was able to comfortably find the room without having to consult the front office.

Universal Studios / Via wordpress.com

Shouldn’t alarm bells have been ringing when the delivery address was a High School. Okay this scene, as funny and memorable as it is, is one which we can comfortably call BS on. As a Pizza store, with serious orders to take and deliveries to make, a delivery to a High School classroom would (99.9% of the time) end with a dial tone. Even more far-fetched was how the Pizza delivery guy was able to comfortably find the room without having to consult the front office.

7. How did Spicoli not hear the commotion that took place between Brad and the robber?

In the famous scene where Brad finally triumphs, after a series of shitty bad luck, and throws hot coffee in the face of a would-be thief, it's hard to believe Spicoli heard none of the ensuing fracas. Yes, Spicoli had gone to the bathroom but, unless the doors were double bolted behind a wall of concrete, it seems hard to believe the stoner surfer wouldn't hear the yelling and swearing going on beforehand.

Universal Studios / Via blogger.com

In the famous scene where Brad finally triumphs, after a series of shitty bad luck, and throws hot coffee in the face of a would-be thief, it’s hard to believe Spicoli heard none of the ensuing fracas. Yes, Spicoli had gone to the bathroom but, unless the doors were double bolted behind a wall of concrete, it seems hard to believe the stoner surfer wouldn’t hear the yelling and swearing going on beforehand.

8. Did Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) seriously believe that his car was trashed by Lincoln High students?

Okay so this one has some plausibility to it. In the film we see Charles Jefferson leave town for the weekend, during which his younger brother and Spicoli take the car for a disastrous joyride. Although the pair concocted a story that the Lincoln High football team got to his car, it made for a comical, albeit unrealistic, scene.

Universal / Universal/Kobal/REX/Shutterstock / Via wordpress.com

Okay so this one has some plausibility to it. In the film we see Charles Jefferson leave town for the weekend, during which his younger brother and Spicoli take the car for a disastrous joyride. Although the pair concocted a story that the Lincoln High football team got to his car, it made for a comical, albeit unrealistic, scene.

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9. When doing the deed, the door is most definitely LOCKED.

Now this next scene is something only guys can relate to. When Brad goes to the restroom for a moment’s pleasure, he fantasizes about Linda and an iconic scene is born. But what most guys can’t get past in this scene is the fact that the bathroom door just happened to be unlocked. For most guys, this (leaving the bathroom door unlocked during masturbation) is about as likely as a vegan eating a steak.

Universal Studios / Via i.kinja-img.com

Now this next scene is something only guys can relate to. When Brad goes to the restroom for a moment’s pleasure, he fantasizes about Linda and an iconic scene is born. But what most guys can’t get past in this scene is the fact that the bathroom door just happened to be unlocked. For most guys, this (leaving the bathroom door unlocked) is about as likely as a vegan eating a steak.

10. Things would have become mighty awkward between Ron (Stereo guy) and Stacy after their brief encounter.

Now this scenario is left up to the imagination of the viewer but, it seems an awkward situation was created when Ron decided to ditch Stacy after one night of passion. Bearing in mind they both work in the same mall, it seems only inevitable the two would run in to each other somewhere down the track. And why didn’t Stacy just confront him about the situation at the mall one day? Unless Ron decided the stereo business wasn’t for him anymore.

Universal Studios / Via pbs.twimg.com

Now this scenario is left up to the imagination of the viewer but, it seems an awkward situation was created when Ron decided to ditch Stacy after one night of passion. Bearing in mind they both work in the same mall, it seems only inevitable the two would run in to each other somewhere down the track. And why didn’t Stacy just confront him about the situation at the mall one day? Unless Ron decided the stereo business wasn’t for him anymore.