Random Readings: Goat’s Milk

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Random Readings is a series of assorted web content assignments originally authored for and previously published on now defunct websites.  These pieces were additionally republished a second time with an added first-person introduction in hopes of making them actually interesting.  The subjects are varied and (duh) random.  While your randy writer has been previously paid for his artistic efforts, as anyone on this website must admit, it’s nice to have one’s writing read.  Hence, this series.

No brainers

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I accepted a challenge to write about what I call a “no brainer.” A “no brainer” is a subject that cannot fail to get page views for anyone no matter how poorly they really write. For example: making money, losing weight, the death of a celebrity or, prior to 2024, any negatively-slanted piece on the present President of the United States.

Mind you, it’s one thing to write about most of these topics when you have good intentions. It’s an entirely different thing, however, to just jump on the bandwagon and crank out crap. I think people should put more thought into what they write other than how much money it’ll make them. You should write about what you like and/or what your regular readers like whether it makes a lot of money or not.

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So here I sit–adult beverage in hand–wondering if I have bitten off more than I can chew. As I suck down my drink I tell myself: “Self! You can do this! Pick a subject and just do it!”

I don’t answer myself (yet) as I’ve barely begun drinking. I confess, once I have had enough booze to reply to myself, I generally end up writing the kind of material that brings on awful online threats of violence. poorly-penned posings from lovely ladies from other lands or parental criticism from those who aren’t my parents. As if I should know what “family-friendly” means when I’m in an altered state–and I don’t mean California!
Besides, whose family are we talking about anyway? My regular readers already know my house isn’t exactly the Cleaver household. (Although I have been told that sometimes I’m a little hard on “the Beaver”. But, I digress… .)

Anyway, there I sat. Sure, I had already written two other “no brainer” articles ages ago including one on easy weight loss. Yes, I had stepped up to the plate twice before and was not found wanting . . . anything other than another drink, that is.

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I pondered the possibilities for a mere moment. Then I recalled a former female friend and her particular peculiar penchant for hollow-horned ibex. The lady in question likes goats.
Maybe I could create a piece that would demonstrate my ability to write about anything and make it unique as well. Yes, I decided, as I felt my magic mixture medicate me that was the answer. I thought back to my previous paid pennings.

Surely I must have learned something helpful. I cracked open the infamous Phoenix files and discovered I had once been paid to write a feature on goat’s milk. So pay attention ladies!

Get off Amazon and turn off your smartphone (unless you’re reading this on it). Without expressing the erotic imaginings on the tip of my tiddly tongue, here then, is the secret to beautiful skin:

Goat’s Milk

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One natural skin treatment that our mothers, grandmothers and even great-grandmothers have been talking about for decades is the use of goat’s milk. We have been told that it is good for your skin. It cleans, moisturizes and even heals your skin. While these benefits have been praised, there wasn’t necessarily any explanation given about the supposed numerous benefits.

For centuries goat’s milk has been used to effectively treat the skin. Cleopatra was said to take milk baths and some argue this was what contributed to her beautiful skin. But what specifically makes goat’s milk good for your skin?

Some online sources feel that goat’s milk is good for your skin because it contains numerous nutrients that are beneficial to your skin. Specifically, experts say that the probiotics, Vitamin A and vitamin D are what make the difference.

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Also, they feel that the lactic acid in goat’s milk also has natural beta hydroxy acids that serve as an exfoliator which strips the skin of dead skin cells thus leaving it silky smooth and soft.

Perhaps the most important reason goat’s milk is good for your skin has yet to be revealed here. According to those in the know, goat’s milk is even better than other kinds of milk because it has a “secret ingredient” of sorts. Goat’s milk is a particularly excellent choice for skincare because the pH in goat’s milk matches the pH in human skin better than any other kind of milk.

Therefore, our ancestors were correct when they said washing with goat’s milk can result in cleaner, softer and suppler skin.  Now honestly, did y’all know that animal milk was good for your skin? (Ahem) Who Moo?